gamers weekly (2021-05-10)
An annotated digest of the top /r/Games "news" posts for the week beginning Monday 10th May 2021.
Video games have replaced music as the most important aspect of youth culture
Monday 10th May 2021
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Video Games are reported to be extremely popular and extremely profitable. Gamers feel that this article is wrong, putting the terms "video game" "most important" and "youth culture" under intense scrutiny to try and find out why so many people are gaming. Simultaneously, Gamers rush to congratulate themselves for partaking in a hobby that is now more accessible in the midst of a global pandemic. Amazon, a billion dollar mega-corporation, is admonished for not trying hard enough to make money from Gamers.
GABE NEWELL: You will get a better idea about Steam's games on consoles by the end of this year
Tuesday 11th May 2021
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GabeN says something about consoles, but no one can remember what he said as the video post is deleted. Gamers are in a tizzy with speculation. Could it be a port of Half-Life Alyx to PSVR? Could it be a new version of The Orange Box? One Gamer peeks into their crystal ball and believes that Gordon Freeman will be added to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Many Gamers, who really dislike it when Studios cheaply repackage old games onto a new platform, suggest that Valve cheaply repackage its games onto new consoles.
Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart – New Gameplay Today (4K)
Wednesday 12th May 2021
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The latest Ratchet & Clank game is very shiny and new. Gamers take this as an opportunity to chide Nintendo for not making the Switch more powerful. Some Gamers seem genuinely concerned over the lack of sexual innuendo in the game's title. Gamers, who are known for being critical of games that sacrifice gameplay innovation for graphical quality, fawn over this trailer due to it's graphical quality and gameplay that remains the same from the previous games.
Mass Effect Legendary Edition - Review Thread
Thursday 13th May 2021
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Opinions of games "journalists" are collated for the viewing pleasure of the horde. Today's subject; Mass Effect Cashgrab Remake. Reception is generally positive, with Bioware's sins of Mass Effect Andromeda forgiven for this new wave of nostalgia bait. Gamers stumble over themselves to praise EA for the revolutionary practice of including two whole disks in the console packaging. None of the reviews that are aggregated in the original post are discussed.
Disco Elysium has been unbanned in Australia after a review
Friday 14th May 2021
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The Australian government decides to stop being a prude over a video game. Gamers, whose perception of Australians comes entirely from mass media, wonder why anyone from Australia would ever object to coarse language and drug usage in a video game. One Gamer wishes they had millions of dollars to waste on making a version of this game to spite the Australian Government, as if they would notice or care. Other Gamers wonder why anyone even cares about the RPG genre at all.
Jeff Grubb: Starfield is exclusive to Xbox and PC
Saturday 15th May 2021
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The ramifications of Microsoft's acquisition of Zenimax is discovered. Gamers, all of whom were cheering at this acquisition news months ago, are in shock. Purchasing a Studio wholesale for exclusivity rights is decried as "slimy". Some Gamers think that Starfield will be a bad game, so this news doesn't matter at all. Other Gamers believe that Starfield is vapourware. One PS5 Gamer described themselves as being "hurt" from this news.
Final Fantasy XIV for PS5 launches May 25th
Sunday 16th May 2021
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Final Fantasy XIV gets another console port. Gamers are happy that they are able to play this game on their console of choice while relaxing on their couch. This is seen as heresy to other Gamers, which results in dozens of comments of unsolicited advice in an attempt to get someone to connect their PC to their living room TV, and not stopping when told "no". Some Gamers wonder if the graphical quality will be good enough on console, or if the MMO menu navigation will map well to a console controller. One Gamer loudly proclaims they are not interested in this due to load times.