gamers weekly (2021-05-03)

An annotated digest of the top /r/Games "news" posts for the week beginning Monday 3rd May 2021.

Announcing PlayStation’s new Partnership with Discord – SIE Blog
Monday 3rd May 2021 (comments)
Sony pays Discord in exchange for goods and services. Many Gamers are happy, but still remain disappointed that such a deal took so long to happen in the first place. Despite the Gamers apparent disgust for vendor lock-in and exclusivity, the Gamers take great joy in admonishing Microsoft for not simply acquiring Discord earlier in the week. Some console Gamers show up, unaware of what Discord is and how it's better than current console chat solutions. This is answered by Gamers purchasing a Nitro subsription and reacting with the :KEKW: emote.

Stadia product head John Justice has left Google
Tuesday 4th May 2021 (comments)
Google's Stadia product is up shit creek without a paddle, although it is unclear if they had a paddle in the first place. The Gamers, none of whom have actually used Google Stadia in the first place, rejoice. Many different factors are blamed for Stadia's apparent failure. The Gamers, all of whom are genius business executives, pinpoint the core issue as Google not being managed well and other Developers being too strong. One Gamer is especially angry over the addition of a search bar being way too late.

Activision-Blizzard Q1 2021 financials: Blizzard has lost almost 29% of its overall active playerbase in three years
Wednesday 5th May 2021 (comments)
Blizzard is unable to maintain interest with its Gamers. The Gamers are angry about this, but even more angry about not understanding how revenue works. Everyone seems to be in agreement that Blizzard has lost it's Magic Touch™. Exec bonuses, nostalgia bait, and lack of senior staff are all speculated to be part of the reason why. The Final Fantasy XIV Gamers (with Heavensward expansion included in the free trial) show up to shill their game. They are unaware that the only people left playing WoW will never leave and will also never stop being upset at Classic.

Former 343 Employee Says Halo Infinite Being Made Under Crunch Conditions
Thursday 6th May 2021 (comments)
343 Industries continues the war against its own Developers. The Gamers take a break from sending death threats to Developers of their favourite game to exercise some sympathy. Familiar points are once again brought up detailing why Studios are able work Developers like this. The Gamers conclude that crunch conditions are simply inevitable and nothing can be done to prevent it. Other Gamers seem to think this is neccessary given that Master Chief is late for his big Xbox Series X debut.

The Yakuza Series Will Remain a Turn-Based RPG Series Going Forward
Friday 7th May 2021 (comments)
The Yakuza series decides to use the marmite of video game mechanics. The Gamers speculate if this is a move to try keep things fresh, much like the futile gestures in a loveless marriage. Comparisons are made to Final Fantasy for no reason. The Gamers are generally optimistic about this new direction, and take this as an opportunity to list all the grievances they have with turn-based JRPG mechanics. A few Gamers declare the franchise as ruined forever.

Resident Evil Village reached 100,000 concurrent players, a first for the series
Saturday 8th May 2021 (comments)
Resident Evil Village is having its fifteen minutes of fame. The Gamers are very proud of this and especially happy for Capcom, making sure to excessively praise the Japanese Developer to meet their daily quota. Factors that are praised for this popularity include, being a good PC port, the robustness of the game engine, and the nine foot tall vampire lady. Many Gamers are quick to point out some minor flaws, such as the large difficulty spike in the early levels that they found when watching the game being played on YouTube.

Mass Effect Legendary Edition Will Let You Use Original Mako Handling
Sunday 9th May 2021 (comments)
Bioware attempts to salvage its reputation with nostalgia bait. This is in the form of an option to make the game worse in their cashgrab remake. The Gamers can't decide if the Mako was even fun in the first place.