gamers weekly (2022-01-03)

An annotated digest of the top /r/Games "news" posts for the week beginning Monday 3rd January 2022.

The Next Video Game From BioShock’s Auteur Is in Development Hell - Bloomberg
Monday 3rd January 2022 (comments)
Ken Levine is languishing in creativity. The Gamers seem unsurprised by this, given his current most advanced narrative device is Lego that is impossible to assemble. One Gamer does some finance napkin math and concludes that this lack of output is fine since the Developer is actually being utilised as some sort of video game skunkworks. Other Gamers use this thread as an opportunity to incorrect each other on how video game production works. Some Gamers miss Bioshock.

Pay-to-win Warzone invisible skin still ruining matches after 2 weeks
Tuesday 4th January 2022 (comments)
A Call of Duty cosmetic item has an abusable bug. Some Gamers believe this is simply a bug not caught before the holidays and take this as an opportunity to bring up workplace abuse at Activision-Blizzard. Other Gamers believe this skin was created maliciously to sell more skins and take this as an opportunity to bash Hi-Rez studio for their handling of Tribes: Ascend.

Ghost of Tsushima has sold 8 million copies
Wednesday 5th January 2022 (comments)
Suckerpunch studios makes a lot of money. Most of the Gamers seem content that there is success in creating a video game that is sold in exchange for a fair price. Other open world games are brought up in discussions that go nowhere.

SEGA promises to avoid NFTs if gamers think it's a money-making scheme
Thursday 6th January 2022 (comments)
SEGA tells a lie with a straight face. The Gamers are careful not to fall for this deception and declare that, much like paid cosmetics and micro-transactions, NFTs will never become accepted by the majority. Some Gamers point out that the Japanese government has trouble with making laws for the current internet and proceed to incorrect each other on the inner workings of the legislative process of a country they do not live in. The rest of the Gamers are quick to point out that NFTs seem functionally equivalent to existing in-game item collection, but only declare one of those systems as being an outright scam.

The Call | Season 2022 Cinematic - League of Legends (ft. 2WEI, Louis Leibfried, and Edda Hayes)
Friday 7th January 2022 (comments)
Riot Games engages in its annual marketing campaign. The Gamers, all of whom declare that they don't play League of Legends, ooh and ahh for the quality of the animated video. Gamers are divided on whether to praise Riot for their effective marketing or to admonish them for the crime of intentionally exposing many people to the League of Legends community. Many Gamers agree that Riot is becoming the "new Blizzard" and say this sincerely as if it was some sort of a compliment.

According to developers, you'll need at least 500 hours to fully complete Dying Light 2
Saturday 8th January 2022 (comments)
A social media manager engages in some playtime stat-padding. The Gamers, who usually love to measure games in terms of value for money by playtime, now wonder why a game should ever be that long in the first place. One Gamer worry that such a large playtime will mean that the developers will miss out on the crucial "Switch dads and moms" demographic. A quality vs quantity debate begins and promptly is stalled when no one can agree on the definition of "content".

Elden Ring overtakes Dying Light 2 to become Steam's most wishlisted game
Sunday 9th January 2022 (comments)
The next From Software game is highly anticipated. This hype is declared "healthy" for some reason. Some Gamers show genuine concern for the profits of one developer being hurt by the release of a competing game. As this thread is primarily discussing disproportionate hype for an unreleased game, Silksong is brought up unprompted. Continuing yesterdays confusion, many Gamers wonder why Dying Light has so many fans in the first place.

gamers weekly (2021-05-10)

An annotated digest of the top /r/Games "news" posts for the week beginning Monday 10th May 2021.

Video games have replaced music as the most important aspect of youth culture
Monday 10th May 2021 (comments)
Video Games are reported to be extremely popular and extremely profitable. Gamers feel that this article is wrong, putting the terms "video game" "most important" and "youth culture" under intense scrutiny to try and find out why so many people are gaming. Simultaneously, Gamers rush to congratulate themselves for partaking in a hobby that is now more accessible in the midst of a global pandemic. Amazon, a billion dollar mega-corporation, is admonished for not trying hard enough to make money from Gamers.

GABE NEWELL: You will get a better idea about Steam's games on consoles by the end of this year
Tuesday 11th May 2021 (comments)
GabeN says something about consoles, but no one can remember what he said as the video post is deleted. Gamers are in a tizzy with speculation. Could it be a port of Half-Life Alyx to PSVR? Could it be a new version of The Orange Box? One Gamer peeks into their crystal ball and believes that Gordon Freeman will be added to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Many Gamers, who really dislike it when Studios cheaply repackage old games onto a new platform, suggest that Valve cheaply repackage its games onto new consoles.

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart – New Gameplay Today (4K)
Wednesday 12th May 2021 (comments)
The latest Ratchet & Clank game is very shiny and new. Gamers take this as an opportunity to chide Nintendo for not making the Switch more powerful. Some Gamers seem genuinely concerned over the lack of sexual innuendo in the game's title. Gamers, who are known for being critical of games that sacrifice gameplay innovation for graphical quality, fawn over this trailer due to it's graphical quality and gameplay that remains the same from the previous games.

Mass Effect Legendary Edition - Review Thread
Thursday 13th May 2021 (comments)
Opinions of games "journalists" are collated for the viewing pleasure of the horde. Today's subject; Mass Effect Cashgrab Remake. Reception is generally positive, with Bioware's sins of Mass Effect Andromeda forgiven for this new wave of nostalgia bait. Gamers stumble over themselves to praise EA for the revolutionary practice of including two whole disks in the console packaging. None of the reviews that are aggregated in the original post are discussed.

Disco Elysium has been unbanned in Australia after a review
Friday 14th May 2021 (comments)
The Australian government decides to stop being a prude over a video game. Gamers, whose perception of Australians comes entirely from mass media, wonder why anyone from Australia would ever object to coarse language and drug usage in a video game. One Gamer wishes they had millions of dollars to waste on making a version of this game to spite the Australian Government, as if they would notice or care. Other Gamers wonder why anyone even cares about the RPG genre at all.

Jeff Grubb: Starfield is exclusive to Xbox and PC
Saturday 15th May 2021 (comments)
The ramifications of Microsoft's acquisition of Zenimax is discovered. Gamers, all of whom were cheering at this acquisition news months ago, are in shock. Purchasing a Studio wholesale for exclusivity rights is decried as "slimy". Some Gamers think that Starfield will be a bad game, so this news doesn't matter at all. Other Gamers believe that Starfield is vapourware. One PS5 Gamer described themselves as being "hurt" from this news.

Final Fantasy XIV for PS5 launches May 25th
Sunday 16th May 2021 (comments)
Final Fantasy XIV gets another console port. Gamers are happy that they are able to play this game on their console of choice while relaxing on their couch. This is seen as heresy to other Gamers, which results in dozens of comments of unsolicited advice in an attempt to get someone to connect their PC to their living room TV, and not stopping when told "no". Some Gamers wonder if the graphical quality will be good enough on console, or if the MMO menu navigation will map well to a console controller. One Gamer loudly proclaims they are not interested in this due to load times.

gamers weekly (2021-05-03)

An annotated digest of the top /r/Games "news" posts for the week beginning Monday 3rd May 2021.

Announcing PlayStation’s new Partnership with Discord – SIE Blog
Monday 3rd May 2021 (comments)
Sony pays Discord in exchange for goods and services. Many Gamers are happy, but still remain disappointed that such a deal took so long to happen in the first place. Despite the Gamers apparent disgust for vendor lock-in and exclusivity, the Gamers take great joy in admonishing Microsoft for not simply acquiring Discord earlier in the week. Some console Gamers show up, unaware of what Discord is and how it's better than current console chat solutions. This is answered by Gamers purchasing a Nitro subsription and reacting with the :KEKW: emote.

Stadia product head John Justice has left Google
Tuesday 4th May 2021 (comments)
Google's Stadia product is up shit creek without a paddle, although it is unclear if they had a paddle in the first place. The Gamers, none of whom have actually used Google Stadia in the first place, rejoice. Many different factors are blamed for Stadia's apparent failure. The Gamers, all of whom are genius business executives, pinpoint the core issue as Google not being managed well and other Developers being too strong. One Gamer is especially angry over the addition of a search bar being way too late.

Activision-Blizzard Q1 2021 financials: Blizzard has lost almost 29% of its overall active playerbase in three years
Wednesday 5th May 2021 (comments)
Blizzard is unable to maintain interest with its Gamers. The Gamers are angry about this, but even more angry about not understanding how revenue works. Everyone seems to be in agreement that Blizzard has lost it's Magic Touch™. Exec bonuses, nostalgia bait, and lack of senior staff are all speculated to be part of the reason why. The Final Fantasy XIV Gamers (with Heavensward expansion included in the free trial) show up to shill their game. They are unaware that the only people left playing WoW will never leave and will also never stop being upset at Classic.

Former 343 Employee Says Halo Infinite Being Made Under Crunch Conditions
Thursday 6th May 2021 (comments)
343 Industries continues the war against its own Developers. The Gamers take a break from sending death threats to Developers of their favourite game to exercise some sympathy. Familiar points are once again brought up detailing why Studios are able work Developers like this. The Gamers conclude that crunch conditions are simply inevitable and nothing can be done to prevent it. Other Gamers seem to think this is neccessary given that Master Chief is late for his big Xbox Series X debut.

The Yakuza Series Will Remain a Turn-Based RPG Series Going Forward
Friday 7th May 2021 (comments)
The Yakuza series decides to use the marmite of video game mechanics. The Gamers speculate if this is a move to try keep things fresh, much like the futile gestures in a loveless marriage. Comparisons are made to Final Fantasy for no reason. The Gamers are generally optimistic about this new direction, and take this as an opportunity to list all the grievances they have with turn-based JRPG mechanics. A few Gamers declare the franchise as ruined forever.

Resident Evil Village reached 100,000 concurrent players, a first for the series
Saturday 8th May 2021 (comments)
Resident Evil Village is having its fifteen minutes of fame. The Gamers are very proud of this and especially happy for Capcom, making sure to excessively praise the Japanese Developer to meet their daily quota. Factors that are praised for this popularity include, being a good PC port, the robustness of the game engine, and the nine foot tall vampire lady. Many Gamers are quick to point out some minor flaws, such as the large difficulty spike in the early levels that they found when watching the game being played on YouTube.

Mass Effect Legendary Edition Will Let You Use Original Mako Handling
Sunday 9th May 2021 (comments)
Bioware attempts to salvage its reputation with nostalgia bait. This is in the form of an option to make the game worse in their cashgrab remake. The Gamers can't decide if the Mako was even fun in the first place.